“HOLDING!”
“LIFT!”
“THREEEEEE SECONDS!”
And my personal favorite, “OVER THE BACK!”
Every gym has them. It’s inevitable. Everyone is so used to it that we just kind of deal with it. No normal person one wants to be caught dead on a cell phone video confronting one of these people either.
It’s one thing if the parent is a former athlete themself, have an idea what they’re talking about, and aren’t creating a scene. Everyone expects a little bit of cheering and jeering at these events.
HOWEVER
This is not for those people. I’d still the Glory Days parents living through kids playing a game would learn to shut their pie-hole, but that’s something I can deal with.
The uniformed, non-athletes that barely know how the game is played, yet want to criticize everyone involved. They don’t often have anything productive or smart to say. They definitely know how to do it loud.
Without further ado, here are..
5 things you can say to “those people”
5. “If I wanted to kill myself, I’d climb up your ego and jump down to your IQ.”
4. “Understanding someone like you is very difficult. It’s like trying to what color the number 7 smells like.”
3. “Somewhere out there, stands a tree whose sole purpose is to replace the oxygen you waste. Go find it and apologize.”
2. “Hey what kind of car do you drive?”
*Wait for answer*
“Yeah, that’s the one they said left their lights on in the parking lot. You better go check!”
1. “Your comments may not be smart, but they sure are loud.”
**BONUS**
“Hey! Shut the F*ck up!”
About The Author
One response to “Five Things You Can Say To “That Parent” At Your Next HS Sporting Event”
[…] you if you’re sitting next to a dad (even worse if it’s a mom) yelling “HOLDING!” every other play, but hey, it’s all part of the experience. At least in North Dakota […]