In the wake of our 9-man season preview, I need to get something off my chest. The first page of that masterpiece shared the NDAPSSA 9-man preseason football poll. There may not be a more pointless thing in high school sports than a preseason poll.
The 9-man poll for the 2026 preseason looked as such:
#1 New Rockford/Sheyenne-Maddock #2 LaMoure/Litchville-Marion, #3 Linton-HMB, #4 Divide County, T5 North Border, T5 Napoleon/G-S
Napoleon/G-S and North Border tied for fifth, presumably out of respect for Jayden Daniels. We appreciate the voters’ sensitivity during this difficult time.
College football preseason polls are hard enough to gauge with the current state of affairs in that sport. At the very least the players that move are tracked, there are stats on them, their coveted ESPN 150 rankings from 2023 that we still think matter. But there are some sickos out there, I’ll say it, perverts that track these 19-22 year olds like it’s the stock market.
High School teams being ranked is all based on how did they finish last year, how many seniors did they have starting, and whose Uncle Rico makes the best case if he’s ever on the horn with Dom Izzo. Kids transfer schools in and out all the time and there’s no way to track that unless you’re in that team’s inner circle or really in the know. If a family moves from Bowbells to Hankinson over the summer, none of the guys at the NDAPSSA (man, just rolls off the tongue huh?) have a clue what that could do to those two football programs.
All that said, give me the polls and inject them into my veins. Give me what I want.
Local Man Continues To Talk About His High School Football Career
If you’re reading this I am certain you know a guy that posts up on the same barstool at happy hour most nights, drinks the same shitty beer, and tells you he scored 14 touchdowns in 1996. (He didn’t) These polls also give that guy the opportunity to fire off his favorite take.
“Divide County at 4 in the preseason? Nope. No way. They’re overrated.”
Ahh, there it is. The most basic bitch football take in every one of your friend groups go-to move. Might as well be as automatic as Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s skyhook. They think they are exposing the list makers for being fools, simpletons, just outright buffoons for putting a team at 4 that ended up actually being around 8.
(Honorable Mention: The guy that says the #1 ranked team is going to win it all ‘as long as they stay healthy’. Wow, really cooking with gas on that one, aren’t ya bud? It’s very important to these guys that you know that if the best player on a team gets hurt, his team is not going to be as good as it used to be.)
While we’re here discussing shit-for-brain takes on football lets add a few more:
“They just wanted it more.”
May your steaks be always overcooked.
“Must-win or a can’t lose?”
Step on a Lego every morning when you wake up.
“Kids today just don’t know how to block.”
Oh yeah? You sure about that, Rufus? Your JV football career says otherwise.
“You know what they say, hard to beat a good team twice.”
No shit? And here I thought the good teams were the ones that it’s easy to beat twice. Ask the 2011 LSU Tigers about beating Alabama twice in one season, Terry.
Alright, off the soap box I go. We’re back. Once October rolls around and we’ve seen the best teams play, you get a sense for who the real contenders are. This year in 9-man, it could be an open and shut case that New Rockford takes it home for a 3rd straight year. Could also be a team we aren’t talking about. The point is, pre-season polls are stupid, and I love them.
Please never stop doing them.
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