BISMARCK, ND – Last weekend a high school football game ended in chaos. All it took was final score of 6–7 to trigger mass hysteria in the student sections. Witnesses say the bleachers turned into a “screaming asylum” the moment the scoreboard froze on the dreaded combination. Chants of “6-7! 6-7! 6-7!” echoing so loudly that several students reportedly blacked out.
Local EMTs confirmed at least 14 teenagers were treated for dizziness, dehydration, and “chant-related seizures.” Doctors reported having trouble diagnosing the patients that night. They couldn’t get a straight answer out of the students, who despite having a serious medical issue, continued repeating it. Nothing could stop them from saying 6-7 when asked general medical history questions.
The hospital staff struggled with treatment as well. Mary Jacobson, a 41-year-old nurse on duty that night, said, “I asked the patient if he had any allergies. He said, ‘Yeah, about 6-7,’ then threw up that stupid hand motion while his tongue lolled out of his mouth like Jordan Belfort on quaaludes.”
Parents Throw Hail Mary: Explaining the Joke
In an effort to make 6-7 as lame as humanly possible, parents have thrown the Hail Mary. They’ve convinced morning shows to bring on Teacher influencers to explain the joke. Parents nationwide are suddenly armed with the power to ruin it. Now leaning in with forced smiles, telling their kids they’re “in on it.” That’s the terrifying power of this generation: nothing actually means anything, and that, my friends, is the joke.
NDHSAA officials say they are “monitoring the situation” and are considering a proposal to ban scoreboards altogether. “It’s not about wins and losses anymore,” said one administrator. “It’s about public safety. No child should have to endure the psychological trauma of 6–7.”
Broccoli-haired teenagers have taken to social media to make their voices low-key heard, bruh. Under the hashtag #letusdoot, TikToks have shown them pointing above their heads at nonsensical captions. This all while “Doot Doot” plays on a loop. “For real, chat, this trend is lowkey chopped,” said one teen, before collapsing into a fit of laughter over the numbers 6-7.
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