FARGO, ND – Eyewitnesses at The Grain Bin dive bar on Tuesday once again heard Gary Schmidt, 45, expand on his legendary high school football career. This time, Schmidt claimed he ran for “25 touchdowns before the knee injury” during his senior year.
“You guys remember that game against South? Four touchdowns in the first quarter and their head coach broke a clipboard over his own player’s helmet,” Schmidt said loudly, adding another chapter to his ever-growing highlight reel. Since graduating in 1998, his stats have grown more each year.
Rodney Cass, the bar’s owner, shook his head with a grin. “My son went to high school with Gary. Gary barely played until senior year and mostly ran with the punt team. On Senior Night, the coaches gave him a couple carries in the fourth quarter because it was his birthday. I don’t say a word though—he spends about forty bucks a day in here.”
Just then, Gary shouted across the bar, “Hey Rod! Grab me another beer, this one’s got a hole in it!” Rod slid over another Schmidt beer—Gary’s brand of choice. Schmidt often tells newcomers the brewery named the beer after his 1998 season, despite the label showing it first brewed in 1855.
Not everyone lets the myth slide. Mark “Golden Arm” Halverson, Gary’s boss and the actual starting quarterback of the 1998 West Fargo Packers, laughed at the tall tales. “Half of our games are online now. A couple emails and you’ve got the box scores. I didn’t even know Gary in high school. I thought he was just a superfan who hung around practice.”
Gary’s ACTUAL high school football numbers
Gary suited up from 1995–1998. Correction: he played JV from ’95–’97 and only saw varsity action as a backup fullback and special teams guy his senior year. His official stat line—8 carries, 22 yards, zero touchdowns. His longest run went six yards against Grand Forks Central’s JV in garbage time.
Still, “Schmitty” never misses a chance to rewrite history. Recently, he told a group of NDSU grad assistants that he planned to suit up for the Bison before a blown knee ended his dream. “He sat down plastered, hadn’t even ordered a drink yet, and just announced he should have been an NDSU alum,” one assistant recalled.
Gary insisted he would have made North Dakotans forget Jim Kleinsasser, if not for the cursed turf at Fargo North. The stories themselves have become more entertaining than the truth. Locals now gather just to trade the latest outlandish chapter of the Schmitty high school football Saga.
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